A Little Bit of This but Not So Much of That
by mickeylover303
Summary: Panties aren't really a euphemism for boxer briefs, which, according to Nick, are also something he doesn't sniff.  NickGreg. The Panty Sniffer tag.


_The Panty Sniffer episode really was too much for me, so I just went with the sheer ridiculousness of it. That's all there is to this. Alongside questionable fluff._

...

**A Little Bit of This but Not So Much of That **

"You have a cheerleader fetish?" Greg snatched the remote from Nick's hand and put the TV on mute before dropping the remote on the bed." You never told me you had a cheerleader fetish."

"Greg—"

"I can't believe you have a cheerleader fetish."

"I do not have a—"

"We've been bumping uglies for eight years, and I'm just now finding out you have a cheerleader fetish." Greg's face contorted in thought. "I know I'm not exactly—except for that one time although not really—but I hope you don't expect me to—"

"What? No—_no_." Nick straightened his back against the headboard of the bed. "Whatever you think I'm thinking, stop thinking it."

"Okay…um, good. Because my legs aren't what they used to be."

"You wore a cheer—"

Greg covered Nick's mouth with his hand and gave a wide grin. "It was one time."

Nick raised his eyebrows.

"Maybe two or three times," Greg said quickly. "Five if you want to be technical. But don't get any ideas. What happens in New York stays in New York, and there are too many things that don't need to be said."

Slowly, Greg removed his hand. "But seriously though, I don't want you sniffing my nonexistent panties."

Nick choked. "First of all, you wear boxer briefs."

"Same difference."

"And second of all—there is no second of all. Come on. Me sniffing _your_ panties?"

"Considering how many times you put your face in my nonexistent panties covered crotch, I don't know why you're laughing."

Nick frowned. "Hey, hold on now. That's…that is completely different."

"Sure. It makes a world of difference when I'm wearing them."

"That's not the same as me ransacking your underwear drawer, man."

"Do you?"

"You're kidding me, right?"

Nick glaring at him, Greg said teasingly, "I still can't believe you have a cheerleader fetish."

"It's not a fetish," Nick muttered. "So what, I won't say no to a cheerleading uniform. That comes with the territory."

"If you're talking about your glory days as a frat boy and a jock, it's a given that most guys can appreciate a woman in short shorts or a short skirt, me included, but I need details." Narrowing his eyes, Greg pulled at Nick's shirt and pushed him onto the bed, putting one knee in between Nick's legs. "Specific details."

"Did you know I was actually watching TV before you came out the shower?"

"You're the one who brought it up. Besides, nothing's on this late anyway except… "Greg turned his head to glance at the TV, blinked, and turned back around to look warily at Nick. "Making the Team?"

"Your fault for changing the channel when you took the remote."

"Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders—I am going to have a field day with this." Drawing out a languid smile, Greg moved to straddle Nick. "So, the cheerleader you saw in the fetish club, was she blonde or what?"

"Brunette. But it wasn't like I was paying attention to her hair colour."

"Tell me she had pom poms."

"Oh, she had pom poms."

"What colour?"

"Red and white. She had the whole patriotic theme going on. Wasn't wearing a skirt or shorts, though, just bright red…" Nick bit back a giggle with a snort.

"Panties?" Greg offered.

"Yeah, she was wearing red, uh, panties. The bikini ones, and with a thick blue waistband and two little white stars patched on it, you know."

"My boxer briefs, in case you forgot, are green, thank you very much."

Reaching for Greg's waist, Nick reversed their positions and rolled Greg onto his back. "Jealous?"

"You wish."

"Doesn't matter." Nick pressed his mouth against Greg's stomach, and Greg swallowed hard when Nick blew air into his navel. "Green works, too."

"Next time remind me to wear my hot pants around the house."

Nick gave a slight nod of his head in agreement. "I'm an ass kind of guy."

"A one ass kind of guy," Greg amended.

"Well, yours is getting kind of…flat."

"Call it what you want, but see if you get any of this flat ass anytime soon."

Nick laughed and slid his hands beneath Greg's legs, cupping the cheeks of the aforementioned ass. "I'm sorry. I take it back. You have a bubble butt. A nice, grabble bubble butt that's fun to hold on to because it's not flat."

"That's supposed to be convincing or something?"

Growling playfully, Nick squeezed Greg's ass and pulled him closer. "Believe you me; you'd know if I didn't like it."

"This whole thing about you liking me wearing nothing but my boxer briefs-cum-panties, socks, and a hat, is that a fetish, too?"

"That's not a fetish, either. That's what you wear to bed."

"You asked me to keep the hat on."

"I like the hat."

"I look like some 90s rave reject sans the clothes." Greg turned the visor of his hat to the side. "And this is something I would know."

"Come on, it's not like you even wear stuff like that anymore."

"It takes me half of my adult life to grow out of it, and you're trying to put me right back where I started."

"What can I say? It suits you."

"No more trying to get away with bad puns." Greg pulled Nick down for a kiss. "And definitely no more cocky smirks while trying to get away with bad puns."

"Uh-huh."

"Still think you don't have a cheerleader fetish?"

"It's a weakness."

"Like the glitter you tried to hide under the bed last week?"

"Definitely like the glitter." Nick smiled into another kiss. "But only when it's on you."


End file.
